For an introvert like me, spending 24 hours per day with my baby has always been trying. As the kid has gotten older, the demands on my time have lessened in absolute hours but increased in types of demands. There are so many days when all I’m looking for is a spare 10 minutes, by myself, to use the bathroom. Not surprisingly, my favorite gift is alone time with just me.
The concept of “Me Time” must be very odd one for older generations. It’s a notion often portrayed derisively as the “me me me” phenomenon of millennials like myself. However, the notion of self-care is an important one borne from the “always on” work culture that we live in. If self-care helps a parent be a better version of themselves, then that is what matters the most.
It’s surprising how hard is it to unwind from the day to day grind of motherhood, especially if there are external demands from work and internal demands from managing a household.
For moms to actually unwind during her “me time”, she’ll likely have to…
The first step in getting a mom to really enjoy her me time is by helping her mentally unwind beforehand hand.
There are many ways to address these parameters to support relaxation and recuperation. Here are some ways to get started:
Tackling chores and taking over the usual mom duties can help mom feel relieved that she CAN take some time off from being the family janitor, cleaner, laundress, and chef all day, every day.
Set the tone for mom’s "me time," even before it begins. Acknowledge that this time is essential, and she deserves to enjoy it without any reservations. Don’t make mom ask for what she deserves; help her know that her rest time has been earned time off, just like PTO. If employees get time off from work to recharge, then so should moms. Make sure mom knows how much the family supports her in taking time off.
The next phase is helping mom get out of her routine and into quality “me time”. Staying at home or in the same everyday space can make it hard to unwind for anyone. For example, when we enter our workspace, we naturally fall into work mode; or we get sleepy when in our bedroom. We associate our physical space with a certain mental mindset.
The best quality time will likely be getting mom out of the house doing something different than usual.
Nothing screams pampered more than a professionally done manicure and pedicure. Splurge on shellac, gel, or nail art; and mom’s going to love her time off. The best part is she’ll have a reminder of the treat for the next few weeks.
For moms who are on their feet all day, then a pedicure is the way to go. Try to find a salon that offers foot massages as part of the pedicure.
To top it off, make (or buy) mom a cleansing juice drink, smoothie, or latte before she heads out the door. There’s no way to go wrong there!
If this mamma is constantly experiencing aches and pains, then opt to treat her for a spa or massage. Comparable in price to some of the high-end, mani-pedi options, a massage goes a long way if this mom suffers from chronic muscle pain.
Some moms might feel uncomfortable with the massage or spa experience. For these moms, have her try out a fitness class at the local yoga studio or Orange Therapy chain. There’s nothing like working out to iron out the knots and kinks in a mom-tired body. Staying fit is the best way to stay young and healthy, both physically and mentally.
If the mom you have in mind is an extrovert and recharges after spending time with people, then “me time” is really going to need to be social hour with friends.
Bring her back to her Sex in the City (or maybe Just Like That days is more apropos) with a boozy brunch with her girlfriends. Even a coffee date with a friend at a local joint can be such a change of pace for moms.
If her friends are further away, arrange for her to take a day trip to spend some quality time and reconnect with old friends.
And then there are moms who love spending time outdoors either alone or with their dogs taking hour long walks. Of all the options for moms, this is probably the lowest key option with the least planning required. Plan ahead to check for a day with beautiful weather.
Last but not least, maybe nap time is the preferred past time. This is probably true for moms who have very young babies. Where every other activity listed here gets mom out of the house, this one means that the everyone is going to need to make lots of space for mom at home.
Clean the house up as best can be and get freshly laundered sheets to make mom feel special. Then when the mom hour is near, take the kids out for the day while mom gets a restful nap at home.
"Me time" is not just a break—it's a recognition of the value moms hold both in and out of their roles as mothers. It's a chance to reconnect with themselves and remind themselves that their well-being matters (to their loved ones). Remind her how much she matters this Mother’s Day by organizing her “me time” for her.
For all the moms reading this, remember to schedule your "me time" just as you would any other important event. You've earned it, and you deserve it. Happy self-care day, moms!
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